It is not always easy to maintain one’s poise. There comes a time when one becomes easily frustrated and completely loses the top floor of the body. The anger may come out in the form of mindless babbles or sometimes physically. Whatever be it’s intensity, whatever be it’s form, anger never does any good to you. It makes you socially outcast and might bring about permanent damages in your relationship.
Now, some of you might argue that how can anger be controlled? It seethes in spontaneously. It is just impulsive…
Odd as it may seem, let me assert the fact that anger has absolutely nothing to do with being spontaneous or impulsive. It is not instinctive.
Imagine two situations for now:
- Your boss’s dog has died and he is pouring his barbs on you: You will listen to him very helplessly and may even accept that somehow it must have been your own fault, which is not only illogical but also absurd. Imagine someone falsely accusing you and you listening to that person quietly and not losing your head!
- You had a bad day at office and now the last thing you want at the midnight is someone arousing you from sleep. Your little son accidentally breaks a crystal bowl in your room: You right away thrash him.
Which of the above situations do you think is justifiable? On one hand you right away drink the anger and on the other hand you react. That implies that it was really a matter of choice.
The major question here is that everyone loses it sometimes. In such a situation what are you actually supposed to do?
First of all, do not try to drink your anger when you are not in a state to tolerate it further. It would act like poison because it would potentially harm your psychic health. The build up frustration inside you must come out. But please do away with having a verbal or physical fight with someone or simply throwing away things here and there, when the solution here is as simple as a matchbox and a piece of paper. Yeah… it’s that easy!
1. Matchbox method- Light a match and let it burn wholly (remember to throw it away before it burns). While lit, look at the flame directly. If the anger does not melt away with one or two matches, burn as many as you want until the anger vanishes.
What is this matchstick and what does it do to you?
This match is exactly you. You also lost your top floor and the match also lost it’s top floor. But you became wiser when you read this post on TheCagedBirdSings (laughs) but the match remained illiterate. Consequently the illiterate match burned itself and you survived.
2. Paper method- Write down whatever you feel. Every single word! it could be the way you want things to be, the way the things are, your problems, etc. If you want, you can even get abusive because no one would ever read what is written on the paper and start judging you. Now you are supposed to destroy and squander the paper the way you want to. Burn it, crush it or you could even flush it!
What did this piece of paper do?
While writing down your feelings, you actually transferred your anger on to that paper and he who is angry is destined to be destroyed (winks). So, the paper got destroyed and you were saved! Your mind got devoid of the anger. Now it is capable of thinking rationally and finding it’s solutions. It got detoxified. The ball bearings of the brain that were once jammed are now free of all the rust and friction. Now it will run smoothly. So congratulations!
Moreover, there are situations where you need to show your anger. For instance, there is something wrong happening with someone. In such situations, it is only anger that can direct you towards the right path. But you have to keep in mind how you have to utilise it!
P.S. Feel free to share your feedback in the comment section. Also, if you have any other effective methods of dealing with anger, kindly share that.