And he ended his life…

 

A seventeen year old, hangs himself to death…”, read the newspaper headline. Though it was early morning, all my sleep had vanished after reading the headline. I rubbed my eyes twice to further believe the authenticity of the photograph of the deceased. I gasped in disbelief!!

It was one of my ex-classmates who had ended his life. Okay, so I knew him to be a cheerful, fun-loving kid, who was punished in the class every now and then. He was one of those mischievous back benchers who prefer fun over studies. No, there’s nothing wrong in that, except when you manage to get promoted to the next class… Right? But this boy didn’t get promoted to the next class. He was slappy his father in front of the whole class for failing in the sixth grade.

While everyone else got busy with handling the pressures of the higher class, this boy was dealing with low self esteem. He didn’t come to the field during the interval. He denied the company of his “senior-friends”. Once, I found him sitting in some obscure place in the school. He ignored my calls and got up to leave. The year flew by and he got promoted this time. Slowly and gradually, the innocent smile returned. He started concentrating on his studies. The loner became cheerful once again. The back bencher became the front seater. 

But then again, he committed a mistake. He felt in love with a girl, only to get disappointment. He scratched her name on his hand, and that became the object of ridicule. An adolescent coping up with teenage pressures and heartbreak, he failed again in the class. This time, neither could he face his friends, nor would the school tolerate his presence. So he joined another school, which admitted him on receiving a huge donation amount.

“I am sorry my friends. I am sorry big brother, I was not jealous of your grades. But, I’ve had enough. Enough of those ridicules. Dad called up every relative to tell them that I was useless and I had failed thrice. That he had two sons, and he wouldn’t care if only one existed. It was pathetic to see mom cry for an hour in the principal’s office, but he didn’t promote me. Mr. Bakshi had grudges against me and had told me that he wouldn’t let me pass, no matter what. I’m a failure and I don’t need to exist…”

                     ~ read the suicide letter.

I threw away the newspaper in disgust. What was the need of scolding him and insulting him in front of the relatives. Were the relatives more dearer to you than your own son? Now can they fill the void that he has created. When he had failed once, rather than slapping his esteem, you were expected to explain him to accept defeat and convert it to victory. Sure, you loved him deep down. The dark circles beneath your eyes and your never-to-return smile tell that you did. So why didn’t you express it properly? Your male ego wouldn’t let you, or was the so called ‘generation gap’ cliche? While one son who topped the IITs, brought all the laurels and respect, the other only brought shame and disgust. So the topper should have all the right to get love and care and above all, the right to live? What if the other son would have become a successful photographer, or someone successful? How did you presume that he would remain a failure? The world knows of men who have fallen seven times, and got up eight times!!

And you, ‘Mr. I am a failure’, how could you presume that you’ll always fail? Not everyone in the world who succeeds, has been a topper. How can your grades define you? How come you became so weak that you couldn’t endure it? Dying made you successful? You could’ve taken it upon yourself to prove them wrong! How can you quit even before trying? 

And, he ended his life, leaving behind memories, and beautifully captured photographs…💔💔


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104 thoughts on “And he ended his life…

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  1. A sad story indeed. What is really sad, is that this young man will return here and have to face the same problems he ran from in this life (If you believe in reincarnation the way I do). People always think that they get away with something in the short-term, only to realize after so many lifetimes that they are 100% responsible for what they have done and must pay for that. I can only imagine the karma the father assumed by literally “murdering” his son. Well, we all learn. Karma – it all comes back in the end.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. It’a very sad story, I’m a mom so I understand the problem … In Europe it’s exactly the same, you always have to be the best, at school, at work, in sports … There’s competition in everything and defeat is not accepted. We have to change our way of thinking and go on slower.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Yes, that can be true. Also, he didn’t get the moral support that may have guided him correctly. Okay, so here you may think that I’m contradicting myself, but it’s just that I don’t think that suicides are solutions to any problems. However big that may be. If it were so, then why is it that the most failed person in life goes on to create a mark in life! Anyways, I appreciate and respect your view point and that you read my post seriously. Thanks for reading!

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Also I do not believe if people suicide they are punished and have to come back and do it all again. If you read Anita Moorjani’s account of dying and going to the other side to see why she got cancer in the first place it was all due to shame. On the ‘other side’ I believe there is only unconditional love I think other ideas re karma just come out of fear, shame, blame, guilt and punishment (around suicide that is).

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Armchair quarterbacking a suicide isn’t new. Rather than your questions, I’d like to see your suggestions for how you get an otherwise intelligent kid to concentrate on what matters than life’s distractions.
    In other blunter words, you’re picking at the low hanging fruit without knowing the pain that family is going through. I, on the other hand, have seen the devastation up close. It’s simply impossible to know the right thing to do when kids refuse to do the next best thing, time and time again.
    I understand your consternation, I’m simply suggesting that complaining about how others handle the situation might not be the most useful way to affect meaningful change.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. The loss is indeed greater than failure. Suicide as quoted by many is the permanent solution to temporary problems. Sometimes a phase comes in life when a person believes that nothing’s left and takes such steps. It’s hard for us to understand his mental state at that point of time. Failures alone are not the cause for low self esteem and depression and stress. What actually is responsible is being ridiculed after such events, after all we live in a world that measures everything one the basis of grades and forgets that each and every person is special in his own way. There are a lot of people who never really succeeded at getting good grades or maybe failed but they did succeed. Believe it or not but a very strong support from the family or the close ones is really important to deal with failures.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Yes, that’s true! Anupam kher too failed in boards, but his father took him to the most expensive restaurant in town- to celebrate his failure. Every parent is not like him, that’s why every failure doesn’t become a hero!

      Liked by 2 people

  6. It is just perplexing to see how little parents know about their children in spite of growing awareness of the pressure and competition! How do you keep afloat when you don’t see the life-jacket right in front of you? An important post you have penned here.

    Liked by 4 people

      1. No issues actually. That’s why before judging your statement, I actually asked for it’s implication. Though said on a lighter mode, your statement was quite true, because if the backbenchers take it upon themselves, they actually go on to outdo the toppers.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. This shows that we call ourselves a so-called-changed society. But this change is a failure if we can’t even make our children accept the failures and become the building blocks for our child. This stupid change in the society is only when our child gets selected in an IIT and then father says I didn’t give him any pressure. He chose it and got selected. But when the child doesn’t choose or get selected in an IIT nor gets any other prestigious academics degree, he is a mere failure? Huh!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. A shocking story well written!
    a Good parent is one who accepts and nurtures his child’s talents whatever they be … photography, art, not everyone is academically inclined! In fact I believe most billionaires didn’t do so well at school … this lad have invented something crucial to the human race and made a fortune but his father will never know ..

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Meaning that any young person so frequently and violently publicly berated would have absolutely NO idea that he had Any talent!
        His father is solely responsible for his death as if he had hung the lad himself! I speak from years of experience working in this field … it saddens me that his teachers or family or the authorities did not intervene and remove him from such an abusive situation?

        Liked by 1 person

  9. What a heartbreaking story. There are far too many people that life seems to overwhelm that may not “fit” into what society says makes them “winners”. Every person has gifts to offer and I’m just so sad this young person couldn’t see that for himself with his own eyes rather than others eyes. Truly so very sad that the world will miss out on what this person could have been in the future.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Very powerful account and thoughts you have shared! What really gets me is how the father reacted to his sons “failure” – so very sad! I wonder how his father treated him – possibly the same – high expectations – fear of failure. I am the father of 2 daughters and 3 sons. I am so thankful that with God’s grace and my wife’s love and patience, that they all still love us and get along well with each other. 4 are married and we have a couple grand-toddlers too. If I’m angry at my sons, I often will control my tongue and sarcasm that may surface – always remember that its all about the relationship, not about whether I am right or justified.

    Liked by 1 person

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